Community Archives | Reformation 4.0

November 27, 2019November 26, 2019

OK, Boomer: How to Fix the Generation War in Churches

This morning on my Twitter feed I saw an ad for a t-shirt. Huge letters spelled out, “OK, Boomer” in several banner headlines, collar to hem. If you’re not familiar with the term, congratulations for staying out of the worst of the Generation War.

To catch you up: Boomers have often accused Millennials (and now GenZ) of being entitled, lazy, under-motivated, and over-offended.

“OK, Boomer” is a sarcastic, dismissive phrase coined in response by young adults, who feel that Boomers are overly critical of Millennials struggling to handle societal problems. They retort that these problems were in fact handed down to them by—you guessed it—Boomers.

And so we get a plethora of memes about frappacino-addicted Millennials and articles on well-off Boomers ruining the economy. It’s been so intense that apparently, the Gen Xers are feeling ignored. (Trust me, I think you guys are okay sitting this one out.)

The thing is, long before generations were hurling insults at each other on social media, there was a raging Generation War in churches, especially mainline Protestant ones.

Ever since congregations started declining, religious Boomers have been blaming secular Millennials for killing their churches. In return, many Millennials have accused Boomers of being irrelevant, old-fashioned, and prejudiced.

But how did we get so divided in the first place? What are the stereotypes we pin on others? How did those stereotypes mangle the multigenerational relationships that have existed in churches for millennia?

And, given the Generation War in churches, should we even try to have multigenerational churches? Or is it time to create separate religious spaces for the different generations?

There’s a lot of discussion on this site about how Gen X and Boomer pastors can reform their churches to meet the spiritual needs of Millennials and Gen Z. Much of that discussion involves some pretty fundamental shifts out of an old way of meeting spiritual needs.

At times, I’ve probably been guilty of some judgmental posting myself. I wish I wasn’t.

So I think it’s time to address the Generation War in churches and how everyone, including this Millennial, can be part of the solution.

OK, Boomer: Here’s what you need to know about Millennials

So your pews are emptying. Maybe you’ve been in this congregation your whole life. Perhaps you were married here. Or you’ve been steadfastly leading this church and others like it for decades.

Empty pews as a result of the generation war in churches

Now, it’s a shadow of its former glory. Sanctuaries that were built for 600 weekly congregants aren’t even full on Easter. You don’t have the money to make needed repairs. You’ve had to end important programs.

Do any of these sound familiar? If so, it’s probably due to a lack of young people in your church. Fewer and fewer young families and 20-somethings are attending and tithing. It might be pretty frustrating and sad.

Response 1: Millennials Suck

Responses from Boomers often take one of two forms. The first is a response most aptly titled, “Millennials Suck.” I’ve heard our generation decried as un-spiritual or even godless. We’ve been accused of hedonism, a lack of discipline, and disinterest in serving others.

Studies actually show quite the opposite. Millennials are service-oriented, more so than recent past generations. We still believe in God and other higher powers. And we’re very spiritual.

We’re just not, on average, very religious.

Here’s why: the Church isn’t doing a good job of meeting our spiritual needs. We’re trying to deal with modern technology, an impossible housing market, youth with skyrocketing rates of mental illness, an increasingly polarized country, and so much more.

We need churches to help us navigate those issues as people of faith. We need you to show us where God is in those moments. But for the most part, churches aren’t equipping us to handle these challenges, practically or spiritually.

And, if we do show up, Boomers often take the opportunity to tell us what we’re doing wrong.

You want to know the fastest way to make a Millennial leave your church? Criticize them for having taken so long to show up or for not giving enough to the congregation. Or just criticize our generation more generally.

Works like a charm.

So we’re not coming. And instead, we’re getting our spiritual needs met elsewhere, in places that do help us navigate this new environment. We’re turning to secular clubs or parenting groups. Or sometimes we cobble together a number of traditions to create our own unique brand of spirituality.

If you’re a Boomer, it’s easy to understand why you’re upset. The church that you love is emptying. And it’s because Millennials aren’t coming.

But this is key: it’s not our responsibility to go to church simply for the sake of perpetuating the institution. No matter how much you love it. It’s the Church’s mission to meet the spiritual needs of the society around it.

So if you want to do your part to end the Generation War in churches, drop the stereotypes and think about how you can better serve our unique spiritual needs.

Response 2: Millennials are Unicorns

Here’s the second response: idolizing Millennials. Maybe you don’t hate us. You’re not frustrated.

You just want us in your pews.

This approach is definitely an improvement on the first strategy. But it still won’t work for you. Here’s why: this approach tends to treat Millennials like unicorns: very mysterious, hard-to-catch, and the ultimate prize.

A few semesters ago, I had to visit churches in the neighborhood for a college class. Some friends and I visited a few churches over the course of several Sundays.

Here’s how it went: we walked in. And just like that, we were celebrities.

Everyone wanted to know who we were and where we were from and, of course, how we heard about their congregation. Was it the band that is now playing once a month? Did their new advertising campaign finally work?

Most of all, they really wanted to know—were coming back next Sunday?

As well-intentioned as this response was, it scared everyone off returning a second time. It was super awkward to be in such a spotlight. It came across as really desperate.

But most of all, the church still wasn’t focused on meeting our spiritual needs. The focus still remained on how we could be pulled in so that the church could survive. And that approach can still contribute to the Generation War in churches.

If you want to treat Millennials as valuable, that’s wonderful. But don’t put us on the spot or make us feel responsible for reviving your declining church.

Instead, do your homework. As elusive as we might seem, we’re not unicorns.

If you genuinely want to know how to meet our spiritual needs (and thus draw us in), you don’t need to grope around in the dark. There are real data points that can help you reform your church for this time and cultural moment.

If you want to show us how much you care about us, if you want to get us in your pews, don’t put us on a pedestal. Create a church that meets our spiritual needs.

OK, Millennial: Here’s what you need to know about Boomers

So we’ve addressed some of the most common Boomer responses to Millennials’ secularism. Now we need to take a look at the Millennial contribution. The Generation War in churches goes both ways.

It’s often disconcerting to walk into a church and be scolded or, conversely, treated as a rare celebrity. Both the “Millennials Suck” approach and the “Millennials are Unicorns” approach can understandably turn people off to church.

But here’s what Millennials (myself included) need to understand. When our grandparents grew up, churches provided the very foundation of society.

Ministers and the Bible were easy arbiters of truth. Social lives revolved around church events, not just on Sunday mornings, but throughout the week.

And, perhaps most importantly, people in that era lived in a universally Christian culture.

People could assume everyone around them believed in similar things that they did. Everyone understood Christian lingo and celebrated Christian holidays. They knew that their kids and grandkids would share that religious and cultural identity.

Being Christian and being American were usually synonymous. And it had been like this for as long as anyone could remember.

Christianity certainly still dominates American culture. But it’s not quite the same anymore.

You can’t just assume that your kids and grandkids will believe the same things you do. Not everyone connects over Christian culture and society the same way they used to. Far fewer people are religiously literate.

Maybe you think that this cultural change is a good thing. For the most part, I agree with you. But over time, I’ve learned that it’s important to understand how painful this change is for Boomers (and older).

Even if Christian cultural privilege needs to be lost, it’s still disconcerting and painful for the people losing it.

So, if you want to do your part to end the Generation Wars in churches, try extending a little empathy. The next time an elder in your church comes up to you and lectures you about the secularism of your generation, take a deep breath.

Ask them about what they miss from the church of their youth. And then try gently disabusing them of the stereotypes they have about Millennials.

Should we fix the Generation War in churches?

Is it even worth it? The Generation War in churches is so entrenched. Boomers and Millennials have such different spiritual needs and so many negative stereotypes about each other. Shouldn’t we just create separate services and churches where they can worship?

Absolutely not.

It’s possible for us to all get our spiritual needs met at the same time. Regardless of when we were born, we’re all living in the same society right now. We’re in the same communities. We’re watching the same things happen in our politics, our culture, and our technology.

And that means that we all need help with a lot of the same questions and problems.

And, more importantly, multigenerational churches are invaluable. Young adults are facing mental health challenges and loneliness in record numbers. We need a community of elders that will love us unconditionally.

So too, elders can lose a sense of purpose and energy as they age. Having young people around to help them out and vision new paths forward, can counterbalance that need. Data shows that in multigenerational communities, everyone is healthier and happier when they’re together.

We can gripe about other generations all we want, but the Body of Christ is not as rich when we are divided. The Generation War in churches is profoundly weakening to our unity in Christ.

Christian community is defined by our ability to empathize with each other, to step into each other’s shoes. To carry each other’s burdens.

And, most importantly, Christian community is about seeing Christ at work in each person. No matter how worthy we deem their generation.

So let’s drop the stereotypes, have conversations with each other, and sit down to envision the 21st-Century Church together. Who knows? Maybe, by ending the Generation War in churches, perhaps we can bridge the generation gap in society as a whole.

November 13, 2019November 12, 2019

Christian Social Justice: 5 Essential Steps to Church Immigration Work

Welcome back to Week 3 of the Christian Social Justice series! In case you missed it, we’ve been talking about how churches can create social justice programs that connect with Millennials–and create the biggest possible impact at the same time.

Last week, I went over how churches can respond to the increasing speight of natural disasters across the country. This week, with the DACA Supreme Court case in the news, I’m taking the opportunity to discuss church immigration work.

Border for immigrant at Tijuana — Image by Luis Ramírez from Pixabay

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few months, you’ve been inundated with headlines about waves of Latin American immigrants and the U.S.’s various policies toward them. And that’s probably been stirring up a lot of feelings, wherever you are on the political spectrum.

If you hold any kind of leadership role in your church, you might be trying to figure out an appropriate way to respond on a congregational level. Easier said than done. It’s hard to take a crisis out of the headlines and create an effective and compassionate response in your congregation.

Lots of pastors respond with activism, online and in the streets. On Twitter, I’ve seen posts from lots of white pastors reminding us of the Gospel verse, “I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” On my Facebook feed, I’ve seen pictures of clergy marching alongside DACA recipients outside the Supreme Court.

None of this is bad, in and of itself.

But the fact remains that most mainline Protestant churches are painfully white, even in border states and cities with huge immigrant populations of color. Why? Because we often confuse activism–online and in the streets–for genuine welcome.

I want to be clear: Twitter rants and marches have their place. Activism and protest are necessary parts of social justice. But righteous anger is not the same thing as actually welcoming the marginalized.

We’ve got a long way to go before we can claim that we are fully following Jesus’ call to include and connect with the foreigners in our land.

Why did Jesus ask us to look out for immigrants in the first place?

Perhaps it’s the sheer number of needs their vulnerability brings. Immigrants, especially poorer ones, need physical safety, nourishment, and shelter.

But they also, like the rest of us, long for community and connection, which is often in short supply after leaving home under duress. And those needs may be magnified by the traumatic experiences that sometimes take place on their journeys.

There are so many angles to caring for the stranger. So many opportunities to enact welcome.

So, in light of the depth and breadth of needs among our siblings, here are five steps to creating an effective, conscientious model for your church immigration work.

(If you don’t live in an area with many immigrants, you can expand this guide to connect with any underserved group in your community.)

1. Determine what group of immigrants needs to be welcomed.

There is no unified “immigrant community” in the United States. So what do the immigrant populations in your community look like?

Are they predominantly from one region, country, culture, or ethnicity? Are they mostly documented or undocumented? What languages do they speak? Is it mostly single men or families with children?

There may be more than one population you’d like to serve. For instance, if you live in Southern California, there may be busloads of Central American immigrants passing through. At the same time, you may also live in a community of Mexican day laborers who have been settled for years.

Each community will bring a specific set of needs.

2. Ask immigrants in your congregation to participate in church immigration work.

Church immigration work with teenagers — Photo by tribesh kayastha on Unsplash

If you already have immigrants in your congregation, make sure to ask them for their thoughts and ideas.

They may already be painfully conscious of being some of the only people from their ethnic or cultural group in the congregation. So make sure to be discreet about asking. Don’t assume or pressure them into giving you advice. Definitely, don’t put them on the spot.

But offer the opportunity to be involved in immigration ministry both inside and outside the church walls. They may also be able to connect you to community leaders, who already have their finger on the pulse of the needs of the population you’re serving.

3. Ask community leaders how you can be of service to them.

The biggest potential pitfall of church immigration work is the white savior complex. The white savior complex is when white communities view themselves as heroes helping “less fortunate” people of color.

The best way to avoid the white savior complex is by coming alongside existing leaders in the immigrant community, rather than creating and leading new projects.

Find immigrant communities’ churches and talk to their pastors. Go to the offices of immigration lawyers in the area. Check in with the leaders of charities. Go to community meetings and call representatives.

Ask each of them: what does this community need? What role can we play in helping you meet their needs?

4. Think about ALL kinds of needs—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Church immigration work with elders — Photo by Ban Yido on Unsplash

Most churches begin (and sometimes end) church immigration work by addressing physical needs, like food, jobs, and housing.

But only offering physical help without forming an emotional and spiritual connection puts up a barrier between helpers and recipients. (Not to mention, it implies that immigrants need physical help but aren’t worthy of real relationship. See white savior complex above.)

So, in addition to physical needs, think about how to create a welcoming environment that goes beyond physical support.

Maybe the church can connect immigrants with a therapist who can see them for a subsidized rate. Perhaps you can pair up English and Spanish speakers for two-way language lessons.

Maybe your church can host a potluck. Or pair up Spanish and English-speaking families for a dinner once a month. Encourage parents with children to share babysitting duties or swap playdates.

If you’re feeling really bold, think about ways that the church service could shift.

How could your liturgy better accommodate a multi-racial, multi-cultural congregation? Could you invite someone to do the sermon in Spanish once a month, with translation on a screen? Or learn to say the Eucharistic Liturgy in another language?

What about staffing Sunday Schools and youth groups with bilingual volunteers?

5. Ask the community how you can be of service to them.

After you’ve talked to community leaders, it’s time to reach out to the community itself. Find some volunteers who are fluent in the language of the immigrant group and set up shop at community events.

Hopefully, you’ve already created a bond with community leaders. See if they’ll invite you to set up a booth at community meetings, church fellowship halls, or local food banks.

Make it clear that this is about including and welcoming them—not about trying to boost your attendance numbers or intrude in their space. Remember that you are their guests in their community, not swooping in to save the day.

In the end, if you hold any kind of leadership role in your church, you know it’s hard to address justice issues in a timely manner. Truly living out Jesus’ commandment is difficult. It’s a lot harder than Facebook activism or “helping” a community without creating real relationships.

But the work is worthwhile. Millennials and minorities are calling churches to pioneer effective, personal church immigration work. This is one way you can make a sizeable, relevant, and personal impact in your community. It’s the kind of social justice many Millennials are craving.

Come back next week for my final installment in the Christian Social Justice series on debt relief.